1.15.2013

The next big step..

If you follow me on twitter, then you saw my announcement on Sunday morning. I tweeted that Nate had officially asked me to move in together.


How do I feel about this?

For one, I am giddy excited. After he asked, I literally jumped on top of him, gave him a big kiss and promised that Binky and I will be the best roommates he's ever had.

Next feeling I feel is nervousness.

Don't get me wrong, I love Nate more than anything, and I feel that we have a healthy and strong relationship. But, this is a HUGE commitment. We both realize that. After 4 years, it's normal to take the next step in a relationship.

I think my nerves stem from the fact that I haven't lived with a boyfriend since my high school love right after graduation. Obviously that didn't work out, and I know it's because I was young and stupid, but it still makes me worry.

I worry about things too much, too often. Things I shouldn't worry about. This is one of those things. The little "what if's?"

  • What if Nate doesn't like living with me? 
  • What if I burn dinner 5 out of 6 nights? 
  • What if I snore entirely too much? 
  • What if we get sick of each other from seeing one another every. single. day.?

The last one is my main concern. For the past 4 years, Nate and I have seen each other on the weekends, but rarely do we see one another during the week. With work, school and other schedules, it's always been hard. I'm excited to see his handsome face every day now, but it's going to be a huge change, that's for sure.


I try and envision the fun times to take my mind off of my nerves.

  • I can't wait to grocery shop together and try out new recipes. (let me go ahead and clarify that I'LL be the one making the recipes, Nate can't cook to save his life) ;)
  • I can't wait to snuggle on the couch together and watch movies. (we already do this, but it'll be different in OUR place)
  • I can't wait getting a hug each and every day from him when I come home from work.
  • I can't wait to decorate and make the place feel like home.

So, please reassure me that it's normal to feel some nerves when taking on something like this. 

Overall, I'm still more excited than anything! I can't wait to see where this life takes us.

56 comments:

Jenn said...

I think it's normal to worry about this, but you also need to think about the fact that it's not like you're doing this after 1 month of knowing each other. 4 years is a long time. And, if your fears come true (which I doubt that they will), isn't it better to realize that now as opposed to waiting how many more years during a marriage?
I think it will be fine--if you've made it this far, this will just be a new fun step in your relationship.
My boyfriend and I live together and he commented to me recently about how easy of a transition it was and that he loves how smoothly things go when we're together.
You'll be fine :)

Karla said...

Such exciting news! Totally OK to feel nervous...especially if it's your first time living with a man who isn't family. I was nervous too... and we definitely had our kinks to iron out, but it was all worth it in the end. Living together is more fun than not! =D

Meg O. said...

I totally missed this announcement! I understand the nerves, for sure. It's going to be a big adjustment but I have a feeling it will be a great experience for the both of you!

Kristina said...

Totally normal to be nervous. My now husband and I bought a house together after dating 9 months. We never even had a fight before we moved in. I was a wreck. I was so freaked out it wouldn't work but it did. We both say moving in together saved our relationship. We were engaged with in that year :) Good luck

Life With Lauren said...

That is very exciting I'm so happy for you! It is also a big change so it is normal to be nervous but I'm sure everything will be fine and decorating a new place is always fun!

Meghan Granito said...

So excited for you, lady!!!

Illegally Blonde said...

Congrats girl, but fear is normal. If you weren't a little scared, id be scared for you. Take it one day at a time.

Mrs. Williams {Persnickety Plates} said...

I somehow missed that tweet. I think it'll def be a big adjustment but you've been together 4 years so I have a feeling you know what you're doing =) Congrats!

Candace said...

This is so exciting! And it is normal to be nervous! We moved in together before we got engaged/married and it was the best thing we ever did:)

Mellissa Rondinelli said...

Congrats on moving in together! Stop worrying - it will be great! My bf and I moved in together shortly after we met and now we are married. Living together first was a great way to know if we were meant to be. Also we are EXACT opposites when it comes to house stuff - he's OCD neat - I'm messy (in his definition not mine) but we just fit. You'll see that you'll make lil changes and so will he!

So excited for you! Congrats again!

Shia

Jodi said...

Very exciting! You guys have been together a long time and must know each other really well so I'm sure it will be great! Nerves are so normal!

Lauren said...

Super excited for you girl, that's an awesome BIG next step for a relationship <3

Jen Grantham said...

Absolutely normal. I think the biggest key is to continue to respect each other's personal time. Make a point to get out separately and have your own time so it's not TOO MUCH together time. Congrats!

Scribble-N-Dash said...

Awww! It's totally normal to be nervous... Yes, it's a huge step but it's also one of the best! So excited for you!!! :) :)

Kristyn said...

Ooh this is very exciting! I think it is normal to have these fears. You want it to work out. You want this to become your forever. And more than likely it will. I had similar fears before we moved in together. One thing I learned pretty quickly was how much sports Jeremy watched. It was a lot. And I am so glad to know that now because had we waited until we got married, I probably would have killed him.

As for if you get sick of each other. I think we have grown closer together because he is the person I see the most. And I love that. I love being in the kitchen cooking dinner when he gets home from work. I love that he does the dishes if I cook.

My best advice; just don't be nervous and enjoy it. Watching TV together is one thing we do a lot and it's fun to do it together. (Hopefully you will have DVR because there are some shows I love to watch that he hates and vice versa).

Happy Co-Habitating!!! YAHHHH!!!

Nicole said...

I am so excited for you two! Stop worrying! My husband & I moved in together after a year of dating & he ate EVERYTHING I made and I know for a fact I burned a lot of meals! It's amazing what men will do to eat lol

I will admit that we learned almost right away that we can't do laundry or grocery shop together! We have totally different methods to our madness, but that's fine it's a nice time to have to myself.

Honestly I've never though to myself ugh in have to see that face again? Lol & I am sure after 4 years neither of you will say that either! :)

Kelly Ann said...

Congratulations, what a big move!

xx
Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes

Becca Christensen said...

OH my gosh how did I miss this announcement?!? BIG step. : ]

Nadine Mathews said...

How exciting! It is totally normal to be nervous. When I moved in with my husband while we were still dating, I had to move to a different state. Your nerves eventually calm down as you settle in together. I am not going to lie though, there is always something that you will do to annoy him, but don't worry...because he will do something to annoy you too! That is why it is fun to learn to compromise with each other.

Nikki said...

Oh how exciting! It's perfectly normal to be excited and nervous all at once!!

Kate @ Green Fashionista said...

I totally missed the twitter announcement booo! Congrats, that's HUGE news gurlie!!

Feeling nervous is completely normal! All the little kinks work themselves out I promise! Even if it's a little bit of a bumpy start, you guys love each other and will fall into a routine that is all your own.

Allie said...

Such exciting news, congratulations! My {now} husband and I had a long distance relationship for 2 years before he moved to my state so we could live together when we got engaged, so it was similar to your situation. We fell into a routine pretty easily, I think the most important thing, for us anyway, is to make sure you each contribute to household duties so no one feels like the pressure is all on them. Enjoy!

Leanna Vera said...

This is such exciting news! I'm sure it will take some adjusting but that it will all work out perfectly. I'm happy for you lady!

Katie said...

It's totally normal to think these things. But there is no better way to find out these things then move in together. And if you fins yourself driving each other nuts, plan a girls night with friends or have him go out with friends.

Congrats

ty said...

Your worries are totally normal. Just make sure you still take time apart ... that was a big problem with my last living situation :) and when you fight, designate different places in the house to go and cool down!

Rebekah said...

I didn't live with Dylan before we were married but I had the same worries. Staying over with each other for a night or two her and there was not the same as living together! Just know it takes compromise and it will be fine :)

Heather @ Cookies For Breakfast said...

Woop woop! Congrats! HOW EXCITING!!!! It's scary, but so exciting - you'll love it. Once you get past sharing a bathroom (a.k.a. poop hahaha)

And how did I miss this gorg new blog design?! Apparently I'm overdue on sending you a comment :) Love it!

Kimmyyy83 said...

Completely normal and so excited fro you!

Shellsea said...

Congrats on this next step! Living together will be different but will have lots of perks. This will be great for you both.

Helene said...

i think y'all are a GREAt couple and so freaking excited for you!!

Katie said...

I missed the announcement on twitter-- I'm so behind!! But I was super nervous like you when Donny and I got married. We had done long distance and only ever seen each other for a weekend at a time (and at the most, once a month!). So, when he moved in, I was terrified that one or the other of us would get tired of being around each other. But, it has been so AMAZING. I love having him there when I come home every day and us doing normal things like grocery shopping or running to target. It seriously is the best thing to have the person you love most just THERE every day. I love it, and you will too!! :)

Kaitlin said...

Hi Amber! I'm a new-ish follower :) I just wanted to let you know that living together will be challenging, but as someone with about 2 years of experience living with my boyfriend, I thought I'd share some advice. Those things you mentioned that you are looking forward to - remember them, and DON'T STOP doing them, even when you feel bogged down by the annoying things: how he chews his food, the way he asks you do pick up after yourself, the way he hogs the TV, etc. There will be things like that that drive you crazy, but I have found that continuing to shop together, cook together, snuggle as much as possible, and one of the most important things to us - getting up off your butt to give your significant other a hug when the come in the door - make everything ok :) Good luck!

Button said...

Congrats! That's great news :)

R said...

I have a feeling I'll be having the same meltdown soon. I've been worrying for a while now what it's going to be like once I can finally live with my husband (yes we're married, thank you Navy & Marines for not letting us live together) I worry all the time! But have faith that yall have been together 4 years, you love each other, it will be ok.

The Balch Bunch said...

So exciting for you guys! I think nerves are totally normal but I bet it goes wonderfully!

XO

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

How exciting!! I missed the announcement on twitter. That's so exciting for you. I think it's totally normal to be nervous about all of this. I felt the same way with Josh. Trust me it will all work out!

SarahJane Miller said...

This is so exciting, what a big step! I just found your adorable blog over at la vita e bella. I am your newest follower, I would love for you to stop by sometime :)

Sjdmiller.blogspot.com

Aubrey S. said...

Oh, Amber. I'm really excited for you guys!

ashley {we loved here.} said...

Moving in together is exciting! And nerves are completely normal. My fiance and I moved in together only 8-9 months into our relationship so we could be together more (we only ever saw one another one weekends because we lived an hour+ apart.) There have been very, very minor challenges, but over all it's been great! I will say moving in to a new space together dissolves some of those little challenges, I know my fiance was a little possessive of HIS apartment and the way things were styled/arranged when I first moved in even though he really wanted me there, but we moved into a new place about six months later so it seemed more like OUR space and that hasn't happened since. Snoring will be easily overlooked and dinner, even burned (kidding!) will all just become an easy routine.

Cait said...

It's so EXCITING Amber!! My husband and I lived together for a year (with 4 other girls) and although it def. tested our relationship, it made us so much stronger. We also lived apart for 2 years long distance. For as long as you two have been together its a GREAT step! So excited for you dear!

Nicole said...

How exciting for you guys! My best piece of advice-just because you live together, doesn't mean you can stop dating. NEVER stop dating your significant other. Just know that it's going to be an adjustment for both of you, so try to be patient :)

Liz Lewis said...

Congratulations! The summer before my boyfriend and I knew we were going to move in (and live in a different city), we had a trial run in our hometown. It was nice to have that, not change anything too soon and see how the other acted alone at home. It was awesome! Now we're still living together and we love each other more than ever. I hope you're way more excited than you're nervous because this is great!
Liz
http://liz-makes.blogspot.com/

Meghan said...

This is awesome news, Amber! I am so happy for you!

Mike and I moved in together before getting engaged/married and I was scared for the very same reasons that you mentioned. I think as long as you communicate with each other, and also make sure you make time for yourselves independently, you will have a wonderful experience!

Heather said...

Somehow I missed this announcement, but I'm so happy for the both of you!!! I wish I had advice, but I'm having the same worries that you are for when Nate and I get married. We currently have the same situation you and your Nate do. We only really see each other on the weekends. I know it will be different, but I seriously can't wait to see him every day!!

Kelli Herrington said...

yay congrats girl! that a bug step but I think it is one in the right direction. It is understandable to worry but it will be ok just go with it and be happily ever after girl

tara said...

i think your concerns are very valid and normal and i hope this is next step brings you so much closer to each other! i think y'all will love being able to spend so much more time together!

Heather said...

Congrats, hoecakes!! It's a big step and commitment, but you'll love it!

Erin Heydt said...

Dude, I'm so jealous. I miss living with Tim. Since we moved back to PA, we're living separate to save money. Enjoy it!!

Vicki said...

Yayyyyyyy so excited for you! Seriously your gonna love it! And being nervous is totally ok BUT it's really amazing living with the man you love! :)

Leeann @ Join the Gossip said...

Congrats! I'm so excited for you! It's going to be awesome :)

AMY MICHELE said...

B & I have lived together for two years.. I still feel this way. It's normal. Just let the nerves calm down & enjoy it! Trust me guys think about stuff MORE then we do & he wouldn't have asked you if he wasn't sure! Congrats on such a BIG move!! It's so exciting!!

Jasmyne! said...

Congrats lady, with something new in life I think it is only right but to worry, it's something you haven't done before and there are a lot of unknowns! Happy for you guys! :)

Meghan said...

YAY! I somehow missed this announcement, but am so excited for you & Nate, reading your posts, it's totally obvious how much you two love each other & how awesome you guys are together!!

Amber Cease said...

I somehow missed this tweet, I also am JUST NOW getting caught up on my blog reading... so slightly belated (OK, really belated) CONGRATS! ;) It's normal to feel nervous, sending good vibes your way for an easy transition!

Holly said...

YAY!! I think it will be a big change, but in the end it will be so worth it. If you guys have made it 4 years already and are still going strong, nothing can stop you now!! :) Congrats!!

Jenn said...

Love, love, love! Super excited for you & Nate! This makes me happy :) I just know it's going to be great!

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