7.29.2011

Who do you think you are to judge me?

Let me start out by saying that I'm not writing this post because I feel the need to explain myself.. I'm writing this post because I have a lot of things I need to get off my chest.

You guys know that I like to keep it light and sunshine-y here, but....

I am SO sick and tired of people questioning my relationship.

It's no one's business when we are going to move in together or get engaged.

What makes you think you can assume that we're not "going anywhere" or that we're afraid of commitment because we don't live together already?

And, for the record, there's nothing wrong with the fact that after almost 3 years together, we still don't live with one another.

We move at OUR pace, NOT yours, and if you don't like that, then that is your problem.

Our relationship is perfect, okay no one's relationship is perfect, but it is perfect for US, and that is all that matters.

Since day one we have done things on our time, not by the timing that society thinks we should do it.

We didn't say "I Love You" until we had been together for 10.5 months.

GASP!

We take our relationship seriously, and that's one of the main reasons we take things slow.

We want to appreciate everything and KNOW that it's what we want before we rush into anything and regret it.

Rushing into things may work for everyone else, but from past experience, it doesn't work well with us.

We may usually only see each other on the weekends, and MAYBE if we're lucky, once during the week.

This does not mean that I'm his weekend fling or that he is mine.

It means that we know how to have "me time" and "friend time", Not just "us time". Which are very important things in a relationship, in my opinion.

Plus, we have totally different work schedules.

In saying that, I get along with my boyfriend probably better than I do anyone else.

We don't fight all that often, and if we do it's not over stupid petty things that one of us picked a fight about because we were irritated for no reason at all.

I also look forward to seeing him. It's fun and I still get the butterflies driving to his place on Fridays after work from not seeing him all week.

That's because my head isn't stuck up his ASS, and ya know what? THAT'S OKAY!

So, the next person to say, "If y'all haven't committed yet, then it's never going to happen" is going to get a swift kick in the ass.

You've been warned.


Disclaimer: On Monday, I'll be back to my cheery self. ;)


35 comments:

Rachel McPhillips said...

I have never understood people's fascination in butting into people's relationships. If they ask for advice or your opinion, sure, do it. But I try to never give my opinion without someone asking because I tend to be extremely opinionated and I don't want to make people mad. :( Sorry you are having to deal with this!

Kim said...

You go girl!! Who is ANYONE to judge your relationship, and on your blog? People are out of control with their mouths.

I am glad you are happy with your man and you deserve it! Sounds like you guys have a fabulous relationship!

Happy Friday Love!

Lindsey @ Running Down A Dream said...

Wow! Way to get things off of your chest! Y'all look happy to me :)

Neely said...

You know how I feel about this cause I get the same shit. "WHy dont yall live together" "will he ever propose." All relationships are different and like you said its YOUR pace! I love you and Nate and yall are so fun and sweet and adorbs. Screw everyone else!

Kate said...

I think taking a relationship slow is a very mature and responsible thing to do! I think you and Nate look very happy and content and that's good enough for me. Ugh. I get so fired up when people butt in to other's relationships. You two are the only ones who know what's really going on and it's up to outsiders to support you and only offer advice when you ask for it. Need me to come down and beat some b*tches up?? Cause I so will. ;)

Sam said...

Wtf... yeah, I've never understood how so many people lack the "mind your damn business/who are you to judge" part of their brain. To each his/her own. I don't know why people see the need to input their unneeded two cents into everything. Sheesh.

Great post, you go girl!

Katie said...

Why would anyone get in your face about your relationship??? Ridiculous. If you guys are happy with the way your relationship is, that's really the only thing that matters. Screw them!!

star said...

You tell them girl! I will never understand why people think they have the right to butt in to other peoples relationships. I get all thhe time about when we're having kids. So annoying. Don't listen to them girl, you are happy with your realtionship, and thats all that matters!

Meagan said...

If you are happy, that is all that matters! C and I dated for 6 years before he proposed. We moved in together because we moved to one of the most expensive cities to live in. After two years of marriage I forgot how it feels when everyone was asking when we were going to get married. My friend that wasn't expecting to get engaged for awhile was probably happier than I was stressing about it and planning it. So don't stress! Enjoy what you have now! Enjoy the me time and the friend time!

Suze said...

Let em talk. I never understand how people can judge others' relationships. Something that's so intimate and completely belongs to two other people- there's no way to know. Even if there were, it's not anyone's place to say what "should" be happening.

You know what's best for you. And you sound very happy, so to hell with everyone else's judgey comments!

Heather said...

Who do I need to punch in the face?

Seriously, Ben and I were together 4 years before we were engaged. Those questions drove me INSANE!!

It's really smart that you're taking things at your own pace. You shouldn't live by anyone else's standards. Do what makes you happy.

Love you hoecakes!

tara said...

Eek. People need to mind their own business!!

Mateya said...

Forget them. People can be so rude! You are clearly in this relationship for the right reasons and doing it the right way. You're not fighting and breaking up every other month, you're not following him around like a puppy dog, you're doing what works for YOU!

My husband and I basically only saw each other on the weekends too (before we were married) and it made our time together so much more special than seeing each other every day. And we didn't live together until one month before our wedding. So everyone's relationship is different...don't let the haters get to you :)

ashleigh said...

I definitely agree with this! I believe in me, friend, and us time! Well said girl!

Ashlee said...

Some people never live together before they get married....and there is nothing wrong with being together for years before you make the biggest commitment of your life!

I think most people who've been together for a long time get those stupid comments, I hate it when it comes from my family the most!

Share with us if you have any great responses to those judgers

Laura said...

don't you just love nosey ass people? I'm sorry you even had a reason to write this post but with that said good for you.

Do not ever let someone make you feel like you have to answer to them for you life choices. You are happy and that is all that matters. My husbands parents never got married but moved in with each other after like two weeks... not what most people do but it worked for them and they have been together 30 years this sept.

Do what works for you cause that is the only way to go about doing anything. :)

Ashleigh said...

Tell it, girl! I think you and Nate are adorable and perfect the way you are! And my opinion doesn't matter, but since it's positive, I thought I would say that! You are doing the right thing if it works for you. There are a lot of people out there who jump into relationships and are probably jealous of yall for still being independent so they feel the need to judge u to make you feel bad. Don't listen! You are awesome!

Michelle said...

Amen, sistah!!!!!

I'm so proud of you. YOU control your life and what you want out of it...no one else.

I could not agree with this post more. Heart you buckets and buckets!!!!

Nicole said...

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this! I dated a guy for 5 1/2 years and we never lived together. It's ok in my opinion. I swore I'd never live with a guy until I was married, that was fine for me. Not everyone saw my POV and I got made fun of a lot for being old fashion but whatever. I didn't believe you should live together before you were married. That's my stance and I'm glad that you have your own stance! I support you 100% and if you need a back up butt kicker, you holler! I'm only 6hrs away ;)

Sarah said...

if you're happy that's all that matters.
my ex and I were together for almost 3 years and still weren't living together or engaged, but people (especially my mom) tried butting in all the time and asking why we weren't married yet or why we hadn't got a place together yet, and it resulted as a part of our break up.
So stay strong and don't let other people's opinions ruin your relationship.


livelaughandlovinglife.blogspot.com

Rebekah said...

Oh my goodness, not every relationship is the exact same! There isn't a guide book to tell you how and when you should do things. My husband and I dated for 3 years before getting engaged and we never lived together before we were married, although we did stay at each other's places occassionally. You do what is best for you and your man! It sounds like you already are and that's what counts!

Kerbi said...

You two are awesome! People really need to learn how to mind their won business!

Heather said...

I posted something similar to this one my blog a few weeks ago. No one knows your relationship except you and him. Some people just always have to put there 10 cents in. I'm glad that you aren't listening to them and taking your time with your relationship...I think you're an incredibly smart women for that :).

Kendra said...

I hate this. My brother and his gf have been together for almost 6 years and they have never lived together and are not engaged and no plans any time soon. A lot of people say stuff to me about them, and it's none of their business. You do what's right for your relationship. Whatever makes you happy, continue doing that. You are so much smarter then people who rush into getting married..etc. You will find out exactly what you want and need in your relationship before you get overly committed. You are the smart one. Not these people saying things!

Melanie said...

You GO girl. I'm all about moving at your own pace--who cares what anyone else thinks! I like the fact that you 2 are independent and not clingy. That doesn't mean you're not committed to one another and anyone that says that is probably just a teeny bit jealous. :)

R said...

I think it's great that yall are taking things slower. And it may be old fashioned, but I also think it's pretty darn cool you don't feel the need to live with each other yet. Stick with what works for you!

Life With Lauren said...

You have to do what is best for you and if people don't like it that is their problem. Hope people get off your case!!!

Running in Pearls said...

I kind of think this is really awesome because you never see this anymore. I love that you are on your own timeline and schedule. There is NO need to rush things. People are always in such a hurry to keep up with others and I just love that you are being different! No judgies here girl! xo

Casey said...

Hi! I love your blog and read it all the time, I enjoy that you're usually a ball of smiles but sometimes a girl just has got to smack down. I recently had some blog haters myself and it made me MAD. Nobody has any right to judge you and everything in your relationship is as great/or as awful as YOU say. More power to ya, sister!

Meg O. said...

Girlfriend! I am so sorry I missed this post. Here's what I have to say: haters gonna hate. So don't listen to them. I heart you! I think you're incredibly mature for moving slowly and making sure to invest time in the relationship! You're young - you've got all the time to get married!

Kiley said...

DAMN STRAIGHT.

love this post. love it all. i deal with shit like this all the time.

it. is. nobody's. business. (unless i ask their opinion)

LOVE YOU!

Cigar Heiress said...

You go girl! As I always say, if you move in then, "why buy the cow". I am strict believer on having space till you say I do...

[SMASH] said...

I'm sorry to see you've been getting grief about your relationship. Everyone's relationship is different and there shouldn't be any "standard" for when to move in, say I love you, get engaged, etc. Boyfriend and I got some flack about moving in together almost immediately after we were "official" but hey, it worked for us even though it wouldn't work for a lot of other couples. You and Nate just keep doing what you're doing and loving life and each other... that's all that matters!

Jessica said...

First off, Hello! I'm new to your blog :) and love it so far!

...you go girl! I love this post- it's so real and I think its perfectly awesome that ya'll do what is best for YOU and not what friends/family/society thinks you should do. I think wayy too many people rush into saying I love you, rush into getting too serious and def rush into living with one another before they are ready and a lot of times that ends up backfiring (at least for people that I know) so yeah, as long as you two are happy who cares what anyone else thinks!

Claudia said...

OK I know i'm tardy to the party with this comment but Im gonna give you my two cents because that's what blogs are for right?

I have to admit that I myself have wondered about certain relationships and even my own, Maybe the people making the comments that are pissing you off aren't doing so with bad intentions. If you are happy then its all good... I've been with my BF for 4 years and STILL don't live together but I'm getting very impatient.

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