What are you afraid of?

I am afraid of many things, one of those things just so happens to be the dentist! Eeeek.

Even though I have the world's sweetest dentist, I can't help but imagine horrible things happening while I'm there. Very pessimistic of me, I know. I'm sure that I'll end up on the news as one of those "once in a lifetime" events. It's awful!

This is what I see when I think of the dentist -
I had a dental appointment yesterday to get some cavities filled. No big deal, I happen to get cavities quite often. Apparently my mouth doesn't produce enough saliva, which results in dry mouth which equals cavities. Oh joy!

I've never had a traumatic experience at the dentist, not even as a kid. Hell, as a kid, I loved going to the dentist because his name was Barney and he let me pick a prize out of the pirate's treasure chest at the end of the appointment. Of course I didn't mind the dentist back then!

The older I get, the worse my anxiety gets. When I make a dental appointment, my anxiety increases dramatically.

I sit/lay in the chair and tell the assistant, "Yes, of course I want nitrous oxide." (laughing gas). She gets me all hooked up, and just like last time, she gave me too much. I had a head rush and felt like I couldn't sit up. I let her know I was light-headed and to please turn it down!!! I want to be relaxed, but don't cause me to faint lady!

In comes my lovely dentist, who I really do adore, to administer the novocaine injections. I absolutely HATE the numb feeling. This time, she had to numb me closer to the front of my face because of where my teeth were needing fillings, well I couldn't feel my left eye!

She asked me if I was winking at her, and I responded with, "Um, no. I'm not winking at you. I can't feel my eye!!" She laughed and assured me that it would go away. Just kinda freaked me out as it's never happened before!

She's doing her thing, and I feel her constantly putting gauze on my lower lip. I am so numb that I assume I'm drooling a lot which is kind of embarrassing. She proceeds to tell me that she accidentally caught my lip with the drill and it was bleeding pretty bad.

Greeeeeat!!

After I'm all finished up and they take all of the damn tools out of my mouth, I ask to see my lip in a mirror. Hell, it may be split in half for all I know - I can't feel a thing! Luckily, it's just a crack, like severely chapped lips. However, she put medicine on it which caused it to clot and I was instructed not to pick at it.

So, I walked around the rest of the day with a huge spot of dried blood on my lip. Sexy, right?!

Needless to say, I couldn't finish my afternoon at work. It was deep work, and I was hurting. I went home and slept until it was time for class. Since all I had was 2 slim fasts yesterday, I thought for sure I'd be skinnier today, but no such luck! :-/

All I have to say is thank God for Vicodin. ;)

Weekend recap

As you all already know by the horrid picture I posted of myself, I had a sleep study this weekend. What a way to kick it off, huh? Not so much. So that's what my Friday night/early Saturday morning consisted of.

Saturday morning when I woke up on my couch with matted hair, I decided I needed a shower and was very much ready to see the BF. :) I took my shower, got all pretty for him, and headed that way. When I got to his apartment, he had just rolled out of bed himself with fresh morning breath still there when he kissed me. :)

I was so happy to see him. We just hugged for a long time, and he had to show me some stuff. First, he got me a magnet from Yellowstone National Park (I collect magnets from all over the place). He then opened the fridge to show me that when he went to the grocery store on Friday night, he got my favorite beer. So sweet of him! He also got some ice cream. Yessss. I crave ice cream on a weekend basis. I usually always bug him to take me to Sonic for a shake or a cone. So, since he knew it'd be nothing new this weekend, he went ahead and got some ice cream for me. I sure do love him! ;)

We went and grabbed lunch that day and watched the World Cup that USA lost. Later that night, I was able to talk him into going out with me for a friend's birthday. We ended up at a country bar which isn't really our scene. We do enjoy people-watching though, so that made it fun. :) Luckily, my friend was bored too, so we all went out to Ihop! Yum-o!

After that, the BF and I met up with a couple of friends for a drink. We had a good time, and headed home around 1:30am. Back at his place, we watched "Superbad". Seriously, every time I watch that movie, it's just as funny as it was the first time. I'm childish, I know! ;)

We slept in too late on Sunday, woke up, had lunch and walked around the pet shop. :) We're suckers for that! It's like our Sunday routine. We oooh and ahhh over the puppies that we can not afford. When/if I get a dog, I plan on adopting one from a shelter anyway - not only are they cheaper, but that way I can save a life. :)

I really, really, really want these babies - (images found from google)


All in all, I had a great weekend. Sorry this post was a bit boring, but I have a horrible sinus headache today, and have no motivation to think of anything interesting to write about.

Getting to know you Sunday!

I'm so into these thingys, so I always get excited when I see one for a certain day. It also helps when I tend to have writer's block, or am not feeling clever enough to come up with my own post, HA!

Let's play this Sunday's edition of getting to know you with Mannland5.

1.If you had 5000.00 to spend on plastic surgery what would you have done?

I'd save it until after I was done having babies so I could get my boobs lifted back up to normal level.

2. Do you watch Soap operas and if so what is your favorite and why?

I do not watch soaps. Never really been able to get into them for whatever reason.

3. Favorite clothing brand?

I wouldn't say that I have a favorite brand, but I do have favorite stores. American Eagle makes jeans that make my ass look fabulous, and I can always find the cutest tops/dresses at Forever 21, for super cheap too!

4. An afternoon shopping spree at your favorite store or maid service for a year?

An afternoon shopping spree please :) What girl wouldn't want one of those? Plus, I don't mind cleaning.

5. Would you ever vajazzle?

Umm, hold on, let me google that real fast.... Ohhh, hahaha, I didn't know that was the term for it. No, I don't think I would. It'd kinda be uncomfortable, don't ya think?

6. Favorite Disney Princess?

I seriously thought I was Ariel from The Little Mermaid when I was a kid :) My fave disney movie, for sure.

7. Last movie that made you bawl your eyes out?

I tend to be overly emotional at times, so I cry a lot, especially during movies. I can't think of a specific movie that did it to me though.

8. Have you ever broken any bones and if so what?

Yes, when I was a year and a half old I fell out of a bed and broke my collar bone. I also fractured my cheek bone when I was 8 years old. :-/

I got a pseudo-award!! I do not want any bloggy friends in a 5 minute fight with me! Go see JoJo at Newlywed Adventures to see what I mean. ;)

The rules of this award are to list 7 facts about myself and to pass this onto 7 other beautiful bloggers! So, here we go!

1. Google is my best friend (see above). Anytime I don't know what something is or I want to know something, I immediately google it. What can I say? I love learning new things. ;)

2. I have no "internal time-clock". People say their body will wake them up when they need to be up.. yeah how do I get one of those? Because I totally need my alarm in order to wake up.

3. I do not like change. I have it in my head that when one thing changes, everything else in my life will too. I'm having an issue with this as I have to move back in with my dad while I finish up school and get a job. I fear that all the good things in my life will fall apart.

4. I'm a sucker for forehead kisses and a bouquet of my favorite flowers (which are tiger lillies by the way!) ;)

5. I'm deathly terrified of clowns. I have no idea why. To my knowledge, I had no traumatizing event as a child that would cause this, but it's my biggest fear. The BF happens to find this hilarious. How rude!

6. I absolutely can not stand talking on the phone. I usually only do when I absolutely need to or if I am driving (bad habit, I know). I'd much rather text/email or anything else. I only talk when I am driving because I get bored by myself. :)

7. I've wanted to work in the medical field since I was 9 years old. Blood and guts don't bother me the least; I find it fascinating as hell!

There ya have it ladies and gents, and since I didn't technically "win" this award, I'm breaking the rules! I am not giving it to 7 people, I am leaving it up for grabs as well. It's up for the keeping! Take it and tell me 7 interesting things about yourself. Looking forward to it! ;)

Sleep study update! (and other things too)

So, I had my sleep study last night. The closer it seemed to get to the actual appointment time, the more nervous I got. You see, I'm a creature of habit. I was very uncomfortable with going somewhere I'd never been before to sleep for the night, and all by myself too! I just knew I was going to feel "homesick" in a sense.. are ya picking up what I'm laying down? Good!

Anyway, I took an Advil PM to help me get into sleep mode and calm my nerves down a bit before I went. I show up to the clinic only to fill out even more paperwork. There's a man in the waiting room with me doing the same. (they only have about 3-4 patients a night). He starts making small talk with me, which always makes me feel extremely uncomfortable with strangers. I usually end up saying something stupid or smiling like an idiot. He did take note of the smiling - "You sure are full of smiles aren't ya?" I don't even remember what I said. I'm sure I mumbled something along the lines of, "Oh yeah, I try, I'm just tired." What the hell does that mean?

Anyway, as we finish our paperwork, the tech walks us in the back to put us in our rooms. The man from the waiting room says, "I call top bunk." Which resulted in the tech and him laughing hysterically. I just looked around, "Do I really share a room with someone in a bunk bed?" This caused more laughter. Sorry people, this is my first sleep study rodeo, I had NO idea what to expect. He said, "Just trying to make a little sleep study humor, hahahahehehe!" Yeah, well you're not funny. I'm a ball of nerves right now dude, so stop.

We are each put in OUR OWN rooms, thank God. I am told "Paul" will be in soon to start me up. I am laying there, watching the Rangers/Astros game (hey, I can appreciate a good baseball game!) and they started losing, so I changed it over to King of the Hill. Paul, the tech, came in and made the comment that I'm the first female he's seen to watch that show. Yeah well, when I only have like 10 channels to choose from, I gotta pick something!

Paul proceeds to tell me that he's going to bring in the leads to attach to my head, body, legs, EVERYWHERE and have me do some calibration (sp?) exercises. He comes in to attach the leads all over the place - this process took around 45 minutes, and my Advil PM is kicking in! Can we just hurry up so I can finally do what I came here for?! Before I was able to sleep, they wanted me to use the CPAP machine for a few minutes. I used the one with nasal pillows, which forced me to breathe in and out through my nose, ONLY. He told me to try and breathe through my mouth so I could see what it'd do. It damn near choked me. I wasn't happy. Let's get this mask off.

By the way, this is what I looked like after he was finished. Don't judge me, I promise I'm prettier with makeup and NOT looking like an alien. That little box by me - Paul kept calling my "little buddy", yeaaah.

Lights out. Surprisingly enough, it didn't take me long to fall asleep. Later on in the night, I woke up to strange hands in and around my nose. I flipped my shit. Eyes shot open, and my heart was about to pound out of my chest. Paul apologizes profusely. "Um, what the hell are you doing?" He says, "In all fairness, I did call your name quite a few times, but you were out." Yeah well, try harder next time because you gave me a miniature heart attack. Apparently when I rolled over, the nose piece came out and they needed to put it back in.

After this little ordeal, I couldn't go back to sleep because I think in the back of my head, I was scared I would knock it out my nose again and be woken up by his fingers in my face again. No thanks.

I had to call someone everytime I had to pee too. I wake up a lot in the middle of the night for this. He had to come unhook some things and I had to take my "little buddy" to the bathroom with me. So annoying.

He finally comes to wake me up around 6:30am to unhook me. I am dead to the world. I just half-lay there while he does his thing. I'm told the DR will call me on Monday or Tuesday to come in to talk about the study and to see if I have to come in again. God, I hope not. Let's keep our fingers crossed!

Needless to say, I went home and crashed for the next 4 hours on my couch, ahhh. Finally, I can move any way I want without worry about a lead coming detached and being woken up by a middle aged man.

I still have so much to say, but because this is getting a bit lengthy, I won't go on too much.

The BF is watching the World Cup because USA is playing today. This is a make it or break it game for USA. Who cares?! I think that soccer is the absolute most boring sport in the world, and the buzzing horn 24/7 in the background makes me want to rip my eyeballs out. Also, people never even talk about soccer or care until it's World Cup time. America is NOT a soccer country. Leave that to the brits!

I'm still trying to decide if I should let people in my real life read my blog or not. Not that I wouldn't want them to, but part of me likes that I can write about ANYTHING and not really worry about being judged. Does anyone else feel this way? Let me know if your blog is for the bloggy world only, or if your real life friends and family read it too.

I hope you all have an awesome weekend. The BF and I are heading out for a friend's birthday tonight. I'll blog about that another time. :)

1st Thursday Five & 1st Blog Award... :)

Today it's Thursday Five over at Mannland5.

This is my first time doing a "blog carnival" (is that what it's called?) You guys have to remember I'm still getting my feet wet in the bloggy world, and I haven't quite learned all the terms just yet. :)

To play, you just list 5 things that have made you:
Happy
Delighted
Grateful
Totally Stoked
Thankful

Then you go to the blog and link up! Simple enough, yes? Let's play!

1. The BF is coming home today! :) I won't see him until Saturday, but just knowing that he is back in the same state as I am makes me feel closer to him. (what a sap, right?!)

2. I am finally in my last module at school, which means I am a senior! I still have a month of classroom instruction left, and I already have senior-itis! I can't wait to start my externship next month. :)

3. Yesterday, I saw the new Cosmo when I was at CVS - this makes me happy because it means my copy will be in my mailbox any day now. Score!

4. I'm having lunch today with my little sister. Food + baby sis = one happy Amber.

5. The fact that I had my vanilla frappuccino waiting in the fridge for me when I got to work this morning. I was in definite need of caffeine!

Let me just say that if I could add a #6 I totally would because JoJo at Newlywed Adventures gave me my very first award today, talk about stoked!!! I've been blogging a whole, what, 2 weeks? and I've already gotten an award. Damn, I'm good! ;)

The rules of this award are to thank the person who gave you the award, share ten things about yourself, pass this award onto 10 bloggers who you recently discovered and think are fantastic and finally contact the bloggers to let them know you’ve picked them for an award.

Thank you so much JoJo! You are such an inspiration to me. I am in LOVE with your blog, think you're hilarious and love that you're into nursing too! :) (yes, I have a girl crush on her, HA!) JoJo writes all about her un-domesticated-ness, adventures in NY, her hubby JT and all sorts of interesting things I enjoy reading about. I highly recommend you going and giving her blog some love ASAP!

1. I'm OCD, and often made fun of by friends & family because of it. I always do everything right-sided first; hate odd numbers; everything has a VERY specific place, etc. Don't judge me. :)
2. I'm obsessed with all things wedding! (don't tell my boyfriend, I don't want to scare him away just yet) ;) I just enjoy daydreaming about MY day in the future. How fun!
3. I enjoy crude, perverted humor. I laugh my ass off at Zach Galifinakis, Chelsea Handler, Adam Sandler, Amy Poehler, etc.
4. I love me some peanut butter. I blame this on my mother's sick craving for it when she was pregnant with me. She said her & my dad lived next to an EZ-Mart (classy, I know) and she'd wake up at 3am to walk over there to satisfy her Butterfinger craving. Yum-o!
5. I say "yum-o" a lot because I'm infatuated with Rachael Ray. She's rubbed off on me. I think she's so damn adorable, and I enjoy her bubbly personality.
6. Speaking of, I could watch Food Network all day, every day. When I stay with the BF on the weekends, we usually end up in separate rooms to watch TV because he wants to watch CNN (why does he have to be so smart?) or ESPN, and I'm all about Food Network. :)
7. I get irritated very easily, but at the same time, I'm an overall happy/bubbly person. I have an optimistic outlook on life, but why are people so damn annoying? ;)
8. When I was a kid, I once gave my little sister a black eye, (jumping on the bed), the day before we had our picture taken with Santa. Ahh, memories.
9. That was also the only time I ever "kicked her ass". She may be my LITTLE sister, but she could whoop me in a second. What can I say, I'm a lover, not a fighter. :)
10. I over-use smiley face emoticons and I apologize in advance for it.

Whew, that wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be! Now, on to the tough part - I'm so new to this that I don't know if I have 10 blogs I've discovered and loved, but I'll give it my best shot!

1. 25 Before 25
2. JessRaquel @ Mo Shiorghra
3. The Bouncing Brainwave Review
4. Misty Michelle
5. A Single Girl in the City
6. Life as We Know it with 2 Twinkies & a Tater Tot
7. I Wish I Was a Disney Princess
8. Live What You Love
9. Isle 12
10. Simply.Girly

That was insanely hard. I have been following these girls since I started, and I just light up each time I see that they've posted something new on my dashboard. All of you are fantastic! :) Now, hurry along now and go visit them!

Working out.. um, no thanks!

I've come to the conclusion that I am obsessed with the IDEA of working out. I think about it and plan it all the time. Hell, I even have subscriptions to Shape & Self. I read and cut work-outs out to follow, but never actually do! When I actually get down to the whole "working out" part of it, it bores the hell out of me!

I'm not a big fan of sweating. I know that sounds so superficial, blah blah blah! I just can't help it. I'd rather stay in the air conditioning and breathing at a normal rate. Does that make me sound like a snotty bitch? God, I hope not.

I seriously think though, it's because right now in my life, I have ZERO energy to work out. I keep telling myself that once I finish school & am only working instead of work AND school, then I will be able to work out.

If only I had a work out buddy. I'm the type of person that needs motivation. I can't just do it on my own. How sad!

I see people running, jogging, biking, etc. on my way to work & part of me is envious. I want to be working out right along side them, getting healthy, being in shape. However, the other part of me says EFFF that!

What are your thoughts on this? Are you a hardcore gym rat? Or are you a lazy girl like me? :)

99 things - how many have we done?

1. Started your own blog (obviously!)
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone Rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone Whale Watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Publish a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on NYE
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Gotten a tattoo (I have 6!)
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swan in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

29 things? I am L-A-M-E!!

Happy Father's Day!

Okay, okay, I know - I'm a day late, sue me! But, I was busy yesterday. Spending time with my dad, doing laundry, laying around & missing the BF, etc.

Let me fill you in on the relationship I have with my dad. We haven't always had the best relationship as I was growing up because you see, my dad was a raging alcoholic for the majority of my childhood. He never once laid a hand on me or even verbally abused me, but it still wasn't pleasant for me to see him drunk and fight with my mom, day in and day out. It was very hard to watch as a young kid.

I can remember my parents constantly screaming and fighting, usually after my little sister and I had gone to bed. *side note - I have 2 older half siblings from my dad's side, my sister is 16 years older so I never really "grew up" with her. My brother is only 8 years old, so he lived with us for a bit during my childhood, but he was old enough to see what was going on and moved in with his mom instead of staying with us. I can't say that I blame him.

When I was 3 or 4, my mom up and moved me and my little sister to Pennsylvania (where she is from originally). We stayed with my grandparents for a while, and I can remember one day, my dad came in. He apologized and said he was all better and was ready to take us home. My mom, as always, accepted his apology and we were on our way back to Texas.

My dad was NOT better. He still continued to drink and abuse drugs. My mom was always depressed, and it felt like all I really had was my little sister most days. My dad took his last drink (the 1st time) in 1995. Even though my dad had quit drinking, my parents still fought on a daily basis. I now know that this was because my mom had resented my dad so much for so many things.

My dad relapsed when I was in high school. He started drinking again. Luckily, this time, I wasn't living with him. My parents were already separated, and I was living with my mom. So, his 2nd (and final) sobriety date is September of 2004. He's been clean since then. And to tell you the truth, he really and truly is a changed man. I don't just say this because he is my dad, I say it because it's the truth.

You see, growing up, I knew I'd have a strained relationship with my dad. I thought as I got older, we would drift apart and eventually I wouldn't even have any sort of relationship with him. I am glad that I was wrong. He started attending AA meetings, doing the 12 step program, making new friends who were also recovering alcoholics who could support him. He's NOT the same daddy I grew up with. He's such a great man now who's more than happy to help me out. Recently, he told me and my little sister that he spent so much of our lives putting beer and women before us, that he wants to make it up to us now, even though we're grown up. The fact that he wants to redeem himself speaks so many words to me!

I know a lot of people may not forgive their dad, but I have, and that's all that matters to me. He's changed, he's there for me and loves me unconditionally. I am so proud of the man he has become, even if it was later in our lives. At least he did it! So, happy father's day Daddio. I'm so proud to have you for mine! :)

Here's a pic of him looking like a bad ass, on his pride & joy -

Hope you all have an awesome week! xoxo

My best friend

This is me and my very best friend in the whole wide world since we were 9 years old. This picture is about 3 years old, but you get the idea. ;) She is coming to see me this weekend, ALL weekend long! I'm so happy. You see, she lives about an hour and a half away from me. I work & go to school full-time & she's a single mom, so we don't get to see one another as often as we would like.

This girl is the definition of the perfect friend. She is always there when I need her, no matter what. She'd drop anything to help me. She's one of the only people I trust with my life, and that's saying a lot (I tend to have trust issues). She's never judgmental, and supports every decision I've ever made. She's has one of the biggest hearts I know. She always wants to help save the world. :) I love that when we are together, we just let loose and have fun. My "inner kid" comes out when I am with her.

Anyway, she called me in hysterics last night about how someone she'd been helping out stole $200+ out of her purse last night (at first, I thought she was just messing with me because that's something she would totally do!) but it turns out, she wasn't kidding. We were both all upset thinking she may not be able to come because of not having anymore gas money. Well, then she says, "Ya know what, forget everything I just said. I'm coming. I need my best friend!" So, little does she know, I'm treating us to pedicures tonight, as a little "I'm so sorry you got screwed over" present. :)

Tomorrow, we are heading to see my friend from school so she can do something about my God awful nails, (she's a part-time nail tech) and then we plan on laying by the pool and sipping on wine for the resssssst of the weekend! Ahhh, I can't WAIT!

My apartment complex is having a "pool party" on Saturday complete with food, drinks & prizes - I guess I should let the social butterfly in me come out and actually go see what it's all about. It never hurts to mingle with your neighbors, right?!

This one is kind of short, but I just wanted to express my love for my best friend. Be sure to come back soon - on Sunday, I'm going to get a little personal with you guys, let you in on my life a bit, and blog about my daddy. It is Father's Day after all! :)

Have a great weekend! xoxo

I don't think today is my day & other randoms

This is about how I feel today - like I want to rip every single hair out of my head!! At least I only have a little over an hour left here at work, and I'm therapeutically blogging for you lovely readers of mine. :)

I mentioned in one of my previous posts that the BF was headed out of town this weekend, right? Well, let me fill you guys in on our relationship for now - since I am working full-time & going to school full-time my weekdays consist of just that; I have no life. Which means I have no time what-so-ever to see him during the week, but we practically live together on the weekends. So, him going out of town means I basically won't see him for like 2 weeks straight.. :( that's hard sometimes. I miss him a lot. I mean, I know it's healthy for our relationship because we rarely fight and we do appreciate it when we get to spend time with one another. We actually get a chance to MISS each other. Back to the point of the story - we went and had lunch together today on my lunch break, so we could see each other before he left. :) Made me so happy to see him on a rare weekday. I feel so lucky to be in a relationship where even after almost 2 years together, I still get the butterflies when I see him, talk to him, see his # pop up on my caller ID, kiss him, etc. :) Here we are on our first Christmas together...


My little sister (who works in the same office building as I do) asked me this morning, "Why do you look so cute today?" (since I'm usually exhausted from night school, I don't put forth a ton of effort to look awesome at work, HA!) So I replied with, "The BF is taking me out to lunch today." And she says, "Okay, but he's seen you at your worst, why are you dressed up for him?" And I thought about it, and sure, she's right, he HAS seen me at my worst, but that doesn't mean he should always see me at my worst. I actually enjoy dressing up for him, I like him to see me all prettied up with my hair & make-up done. It makes me feel good, and I know he appreciates it too! :)

I FINALLY finished my "101 things to accomplish in 1001 days" list, whew, that took longer than I expected. It's quite inspirational though, and I encourage each of you to fill out out as well. if you do, let me know so I can check it out, and if I inspired you to do, let me know that too because it's one of the things on my list. :) Check mine out here.

I just wanted you guys to know that you motivate me each and every day to want to write! Not only do I enjoy it for myself, but I get on here and look forward to seeing what y'all have to say, and in turn, it makes me want to write for all of you! So thanks! :) xoxo

And the verdict is.....

Well friends, I had a doctor's appointment today. I mainly was going to see her to get some refills on my medications to last me a while, (I'm about to have to quit my job to do my extern for school, sooo we all know that no job = no insurance).

Anyway! While I was there, my mom and the BF wanted me to talk with her about possible sleep apnea. Here's the deal.. my mom has it (it's hereditary, which I just found out today actually) and according to the BF, I'm a horrible bed-buddy. :( So, I agreed to talk to her since I do feel kinda bad that the BF doesn't sleep well when I stay over, but only kinda. ;)

My symptoms include: not sleeping well, nocturia (nighttime urination), restless legs, snoring/heavy & deep breathing, and jerking/twitching in my sleep. According to my oh so wonderful doctor, I am the classic case of sleep apnea. Well that's just fan-freakin'-tastic! She said she felt bad that she didn't notice it before, since I just recently became hypertensive, but since I'm not overweight she didn't think it could be caused by sleep apnea. She also said that my airway is small because my tonsils are close together and getting them removed could relieve the symptoms. Buuuut, she's going to send me a referral to the sleep doctor who will have me come in for a sleep study. How in the hell am I supposed to sleep with someone watching my every move all night?! I swear, the night before they schedule me to come in, I'm not going to sleep at all, so that way when I get to the doctor's office, I can crash out easily. :) That's a good plan, right? So, I will definitely keep you guys updated!



My friend at work asked me if I would ever donate my eggs or be a surrogate mother for a couple who couldn't have children. What do you guys think about this? I say, (and I hate to sound selfish, really) that I would most definitely do it once I was done having my own children. I do not want my first time being pregnant to be with a child that I know I have to give up at the end. I know that I would get super attached, and it would be incredibly hard. So, for now, no surrogacy for me. However, I would weigh the option of donating my eggs. Although, I don't want to give my eggs to someone else when I haven't even had the chance to use them yet. Yes, yes, I'm aware I have about a quarter of a million eggs, but STILL that is NOT the point, HA! Am I being ridiculous yet?

Anyway, just curious as to what you girls would do with your eggs? I do think that everyone who wants a child and deserves a child should have one. :) Most women I know long to be mommies someday!

P.S. I HATE my new signature.. anyone want to offer to make me a super fabulous one?! :)

Weekend re-cap & life's daily dilemmas

Happy Monday! (not really, but I'm trying to be more optimistic!) HA! I hope everyone had an awesome weekend. So I didn't blog on Saturday or Sunday, hope I didn't miss out on any views. ;)

Let's start out with a weekend re-cap. Friday, after work, I did head out to the BF's parents' place. They did however, change their minds about the restaurant choice. They had picked La Hacienda, which is a steakhouse/Mexican food place. I had never been, and I always enjoy trying new restaurants, so I was excited. We got there JUST IN TIME, right as we walked in to give our name, a big ass bus pulled in and I swear 40-50 people came in. Whew, close call! Anyway, while we sat and waited with our light-up coaster, (what's up with those weird things anyway?) we had some chips & salsa (I'd kill to get my hands on that recipe) and one of the best margaritas I've ever had. I usually get a marg at every restaurant I have dinner at, so I guess I'm a margarita connoisseur, HA! ;) Anyway, hands down, best fajitas I've ever had! The BF & I did the combo fajitas for two. I ate so many, I was miserably full & drunk when we left, but all in all, it was a good night and fun was had by all. :)

Saturday, while the BF worked his rare Saturday afternoon shift, I headed to spend some time with my dad and little sister. My dad and I headed to the car dealership to see about possibly trading in my car for something with less than 18% interest rate! Yes, 18%. They are screwing me ridiculously. I've had my car for 3 1/2 years, and I just NOW finished paying off the interest. How do these people sleep at night?! Ugh, back to the story. :) Basically, the guy told us that since I still owe more than what the car is even worth, I'm going to need a pretty hefty down payment if I want to trade it in. Efffffff that! The salesman told me, "Well you could sell it outside for about $6000." Why in the HELL would I do that, I owe $9000. I'm still short $3000 buddy! Needless to say, I was pissed. So, I left with my POS car (not really, but I was mad) and I'm stuck with it at least until it's paid off.

Dilemma #1 - We got back to my dad's and we had "the chat". By this, I mean, my dad wants me to move in with him and my little sister. They have an extra bedroom, and I will be without a job in a month for a month. (I have to do an externship for school) he's offering to help me out. I'm having a hard time weighing the pros and cons of the situation. Pros - I will save money (which I won't have a lot of anyway since I won't be working), I won't be lonely (I'm a people person, and don't really feel the need for a lot of "alone time"), I won't have to pay for utilities, I won't have so many leftovers when I cook. Cons - My dad and sister will get on my nerves and vice versa, 2 dogs that shed, which cause my allergies to go haywire, they both smoke (which is also hated by my allergies), having to break my lease (but my dad did say he'd help me pay it out so hopefully they won't report it to my credit because I do not plan on living with them long-term, I want my own place as soon as a I find a job as an MA). Help me people, what would you do in my situation? I know what I NEED to do, but it's not really what I want to do..ya know?

Dilemma #2 - The BF is going out of town this weekend for his Dad's & little brother's birthday/Father's day, so I thought it'd be the perfect weekend for a girls' weekend, right?! :) Well, my 3 best friends live about an hour and a half away from me (they still live where I grew up), and my dilemma is getting them to come to Dallas to see ME! I usually end up going to them, and not that I don't love seeing them, but I only think it's fair that they come to me every now and then too. Am I right? Plus, I am struggling with money lately (obviously by dilemma #1), and I don't really have the gas money to take a 3 hour round-trip drive. Buuut, if they couldn't come, I know I'd come to them because I just love them OH SO MUCH. And I always feel so good after a weekend with my girls. It's like therapy. <3

Dilemma #3 - I am having a very hard time sleeping at night. On the weekends, I sleep SO sound, I think it's mainly because I have the BF right next to me and I feel so safe and secure. My worries just go out the window and I SLEEP! Sunday nights are the hardest nights to fall asleep. For one, I sleep in on Sunday mornings, and two, it's first night away from the BF for a whole week. I have a theory that if I set my alarm for like 30 minutes before I need to actually get out of bed, then I will have the opportunity to hit snooze a couple of times and be "semi-awake" by the time I actually need to get up. This got me in trouble this morning. I think I may have hit "dismiss" instead of "snooze". I have to be at work by 8am, and I woke up at 7:51am. I've never jumped out of bed so fast in my life! I hate, hate, HATE being late (even though I usually always am anyway), so I was rushing around, and needless to say, I look like I partied a little too hard or something last night. My hair is a mess, my outfit looks like I don't give a shit, and I didn't have time for make-up. Ugh!

That's all for now. I'm loving the friends I'm making on here though. You guys are so sweet with your comments. :) See ya tomorrow!! xoxo

Weekend, barbecue, blogging, free beer, summer, etc. :)

I figured since I'm new to this whole blog thing, if I really want to get some readers and keep people's attention, I'm going to have to blog like once a day until I get it built up! So, here I am, doing my Friday post. Enjoy! :)

My weekend plans are as follows: tonight, when I get off of work, I am heading to my boyfriend's parents' place (where my BF is), and we're going out to eat for his mom's birthday (which was yesterday). There's this awesome "taqueria" down the road from their house which serves authentic Mexican food, free beer, yes FREE (no liquor license) and they have a live mariachi band on Friday nights. It's too much fun! Tomorrow, the BF has to work a rare Saturday afternoon, so my Dad and I are going to the car dealership because he got something in the mail that the dealership is looking for cars JUST LIKE MINE!!! OMG. haha, I told him, "Dad, they send those to everyone regardless of the car they drive!" But my Dad is persistent, and if he wants to take me, that must mean he's just DYING to co-sign for me to get a new car with a lower interest rate, and hey, I'm alllll about that! ;) Sunday - is usually chill day. The BF and I will pack a cooler w/ some beers and head to the pool for some sun. During the week, I am stuck indoors, all. day. long. UGH, so I like to lounge by the pool as much as I can on the weekends :)

The sunshine makes me happy, and even when I'm not particularly happy with my body, being in a swimsuit just makes me feel kinda sexy in a way, girls, do you get where I'm coming from? I usually end up complaining all winter long about how cold I am and can't wait for the summer to get here. The BF always says I'm never "temperature comfortable" because when summer rolls around, I bitch & moan about sweating, HA! Maybe it's true, but deep down I enjoy summer MUCH more than winter. You can get in the water, get nice & tan, cook out with friends, take road trips. I guess in a sense, it kinda makes me feel like a kid again. :)

I am still SO full from my lunch. My boss ever so kindly bought my lunch today. So sweet of her! :) I had a Texas Chopped Brisket sandwich from Red, Hot & Blue.. never been there? Go when you can! It is soooo damn good. I usually end up eating way past my brain telling me I'm full, but it's so delish, I just can't help it. At least I can probably eat a small dinner tonight because of it, HA!

I'm beginning to think this will be my new addiction. I'm just hoping I don't fall off the blog bandwagon after a few months. I really wanna keep this up. It's lots of fun; I've always been so good at expressing myself through writing. I think mainly because when I speak, I don't think before I do it, so that's why writing is better for me. :) I joined 20sb.net and lemme tell ya, it's been awesome so far. I absolutely love seeing other people's blogs; it's very inspirational. I plan on making some good bloggy friends there. :)

I hope everyone has an awesome weekend, and if I don't post this weekend, you'll see me on Monday! xoxo

Rainy days make for depressing moods

I am feeling really down today, and I know why, but instead of owning up to it.. I think I'll just blame it on the rain. Ya know how rain makes people just BLAH?! It started raining really hard yesterday while I was at work, and normally I'm happy to go to class after work because I enjoy it. But lemme tell ya, yesterday, I was in no mood to do anything but go home, put on my jammies and veg out! Being the overachiever that I am though, I went to class :)

Today, it's really rainy, dark, ugly and gloomy out again, and to me, it just makes my problems that much worse. I know we all stress, we all have issues, problems, whatever. I do know that my problem could be worse, it's not as bad as it could be. Some people have it worse than I do, blah blah BLAH! And even though I hate to admit it, when I am "down", I am also selfish! I do not think about how someone else has a way worse problem than myself and I just need to suck it up.. I wallow in my self-pity and think, oh em gee, is this really happening to me? Please tell me I'm not the only selfish asshole out there, HA! I am a worrier, this is a problem. When a little thing happens, it's a major ordeal for me. I think about it constantly and don't sleep well until it's over and done with. Now, I know this is NOT healthy, and I need to be positive & think happy thoughts, and overall, I'd like to think that I AM an optimistic person, but when I am stressed, not so much..

I guess I just needed to rant a little bit about the irrelevant. Thanks for listening :)

My very 1st blog post :)

Ahhh, I did it! I started a blog of my very own. :) I've always enjoyed reading about people's lives, even if I don't know them (creepy, I know!). So maybe other's will enjoy reading about mine too! I have been wanting to start one of my own for a while now, but haven't for fear that I won't have anything interesting to say, and no one will read this, HA! I don't want my blog to just be lost in the internet world; I want it to be read by people! So, if you find me and my blog interesting enough so far, "follow me" and I'll do my best to keep your interest from here on out!

I want to keep this updated regularly. I vow to update AT LEAST once a week. As of right now, I am very busy (work full-time & school full-time), and I don't have much time for myself. When I graduate in August, I'm hoping to get some of my life back. At least until I go back for further education. :) By the way, I am in school for medical assisting and plan on going back to nursing school maybe in the Spring of 2011. We shall see where the medical field takes me for now.

What are you even supposed to talk about on a blog?! I definitely want you to keep coming back for more, but I have no specific topics to talk about; I just talk about what's going on in my day and what's on my mind. I am usually long-winded, but not always about things that matter. :) For now, I am sitting at work, watching it rain like crazy and wishing I had ordered Chinese food with everyone else because this office smells DELISH! Oh well, I'll just stick with my tuna salad sandwich, applesauce & oatmeal cream pie. :) I had 6 fillings at the dentist yesterday, so needless to say, my mouth is still a bit sore, so soft foods it is!

Speaking of lunch, my tummy is growling and it's about that time, so I'll see ya next update! Thanks for reading. :)