7.12.2010

Alone or not alone?

The BF and I always disagree on this subject I'm going to talk about today.

Doing things by yourself, or with people.. no matter what it is.

For me, being alone is HORRIBLE! I have always hated it, since I was a kid. I've always gotta have someone with me. Even if I'm just running to get some food or get gas in my car, I'd much rather have someone with me.

It's actually kind of pathetic and a tad bit embarrassing.

For example - yesterday afternoon I wanted to go down to the pool, but not by myself of course. That would make me look like a loser, right?! Well, the BF wanted to finish watching the soccer game before he went down, UGH, but I wanna go now! So I moped about and tried to guilt him into going with me, and he wasn't having it. So, off I go to the pool by myself.

As I'm laying there all by my little lonesome, I feel like everyone out at the pool is staring at me and thinking,
"Poor girl probably doesn't have any friends, that's why she's all by herself."

I think they are looking at me and thinking this because this is what I think when I see people by themselves. Horrible, I know.

The BF and I will go out to eat, or to a bar for a drink, and if I see someone sitting all alone, I immediately feel sorry for them and want to invite them to come sit with us. The BF tells me to leave them alone, some people actually enjoy alone time.

WHAT?!

I can not fathom someone enjoying being by themselves! It just makes absolutely no sense to me.

The reason this subject came up again is because yesterday when the BF finally joined me at the pool, (which made me ridiculously happy that I was no longer alone), we were lounging and this kid came floating by us with his little toys just happily playing by himself.

My first thought is
"Where are his parents?" I know, I know, I'm going to be one of those paranoid mothers who won't let her children leave her side for fear of something horrible happening to them.

The BF's first thought is,
"He is an only child." How does he do that?! (he's extremely good at reading people).

I then asked him why he thought the kid was an only child, and he proceeded to tell me it was because he was playing so well all by himself. He didn't need any other kids or even his parents to keep him happy. He had his floaties and water guns, and that was all he needed.

You see, the BF is an only child. (okay, not technically, he does have a half brother & 2 step brothers, but since they are so much different in age and didn't "grow up" together, he's basically an only child, get it?)

We decided this is why he's okay with being alone. He will go out to eat by himself, go out to the pool by himself, go to the store alone, everything! He is totally okay with it, and has never understood why I always want someone with me.

The final verdict: The BF enjoys alone time because he grew up that way, he was forced to find ways to entertain himself because he was an only child. I, on the other hand, do NOT enjoy alone time, because my little sister is so close to me in age that we were forced to play with one another even when we didn't want to. I always had someone with me even when I didn't want someone around.

Nice psychology lesson, huh? ;) The BF and I enjoy picking things apart and finding out why things are the way that they are.

You guys tell me your thoughts on this. Are you an only child or do you have siblings? And, how do you feel about your alone time?

***On a side note, I have a calendar called "Wild Words from Wild Women" and each day has a quote from a noted woman in history. Today's quote is...

"I had to pretend I didn't know how to iron or I'd never have written anything at all."

I thought it was very cute and fitting for a lot of us woman bloggers. ;)


19 comments:

brae&joey said...

I can relate all so well! I hate being alone and I am just like you. I can't even go shopping by myself and I hate being home alone!

Megan said...

My relationship is the opposite. I like being by myself, and honey-bun hates it when he's alone. If I want to go to the store he will always ask if I want him to come with me. He can't understand that it doesn't matter if he goes or not. I'm just fine doing what I need get done.

I grew up being the only girl (daughter/grandkid) for most of my childhood, so that would explain why being alone doesn't bother me. Sometimes being alone is relaxing.

Salt said...

Love that quote! So cute!

I was an only child for most of my life, and grew up in a neighborhood where there weren't lots of kids. Mostly I played independently like that little boy at the pool. So even today, I like doing things by myself. I have no problem going to a restaurant or to the mall or the movies alone. Sometimes I prefer it.

My husband used to think I was weird. :)

Meghan said...

Hey Amber!

Love the post. I love alone time. I go eat by myself and go to the pool by myself. I, however, draw the line at the movie theater. I won't go there alone. My boyfriend, however, loves going to the movies alone but won't go to eat alone. He went Friday while I stayed at home and watched tv. We both have siblings...

Anywho, I got my site done by a girl name bailey. Her blog is bsblogboutique.blogspot.com/ . It was really fairly inexpensive and I love it. Thanks for the comment about it. :)

Lola! said...

Love this post. My hub and I are pretty much like you guys. He is very much a loner, He is the oldest of three but the only boy. I however am the middle of three. Older sister and younger brother. Always had someone with me. However, I got tired of it really quick. I lived 4 hours away from my family for my first year of college, and being the introvert that I am, I learned reallly quick that it was alright to eat lunch and dinner alone, go places on my own. Now dont get me wrong I still hate it but I actually like my alone time sometimes. :D

Resisting Perfection said...

I think you're absolutely right. I was raised as an only child (even though I have much older sisters). I actually prefer being alone. My husband DOES NOT get it because he will do anything to invite people over, go out somewhere with friends, etc. He is a twin and also has another younger sister. Makes perfect sense when you look at your upbringing.

Nicole said...

I'm an only child... I'm ok with being by myself but I don't like to go to eat by myself or shopping or things like that. but being by myself, ah I'm fine with that.

Mama Hen said...

I like to be with people and I also like my alone time. It depends what I am doing! Maybe I have a balance because my sister was six years older than me. we did not have much in common until we got older. So I played alone a lot when I was younger, but she was always there. Have a great night!

Mama Hen

JoJo said...

Hmmmm interesting points.

I'm the oldest of four, but love my alone time so maybe there's something about being the oldest child that can add to the theory.

I just like having my own space. I find I have an easier time going shopping without people around me because I'm the best judge and I don't need annoying opinions to mess with my thoughts.

I like to work out by myself, tan by myself, study by myself and do a lot by myself. I'm just more productive that way. I'm not a lonely person by any means. I'm married with a crapload of friends and a huge family, but I know they're always there if I need company.

JoJo time is very important to me. That's when my best thinking get's done.

Meg said...

I like a happy mix of both. I can't go out to eat by myself though, I just feel weird about it.

Kara said...

I'm an only child and have always liked doing stuff alone or being on my own. I live alone and it is THE BEST thing ever. Having roommates always bothered me, even though they were great. I don't like team sports or group projects either...yes, I am the stereotypical only child. But don't get me wrong, I love doing stuff w/others as well and am very social, but I do enjoy my alone time as well.

P.S. I love the quote and it made me think of the fact that I always tell my boyfriend that I don't know how to iron so he'll do it for me. I refuse to become domesticated!

Chickenista said...

I'm the same way I can't even eat by myself. LOL

New follower from Tuesday hop

http://www.chickenista-reviews.blogspot.com
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Misty Michelle said...

Amber..

OMG I Love this post.. I posted something similar a while back (http://mistymichellemyre.blogspot.com/2010/06/absence-makes-heart-grow-fonder.html)

I am totally like you.. I HATE being alone and my BF LOVES alone time. When we started dating that was our biggest problem I felt like him wanting alone time was some form of rejection and it did NOT sit well with me.. I have totally been the girl pacing around the house waiting for him to finish his emails so he can take me to the pool!! (happens every weekend)... Love it!!!

He's actually not an only child though... I think some people just rejuvenate from time to themselves.. Then there are people like us who feed off the energy of others!

~Misty XO!

furygirl3132 said...

I am an only child so I know how the feeling of being alone was growing up.
I am a new follower from Tuesday Tag Along, so glad to have found your blog and I look forward to reading more. Have a wonderful day!

Eloise
Mommy2TwoGirls
http://mommy2twogirls.blogspot.com/

Hungry For Living said...

I am a new follower from the blog hop! Hope you come visit soon!
Love the post!

Christy said...

I love being by myself. I have siblings and I've been everything from an only child to the oldest, youngest and middle and I still love having alone time. In fact, one of the things on my 25 Before 25 list is to go on a trip by myself!

Bree said...

I prefer to shop by myself for the most part. It's faster and I can look at what I want without feeling bad if I take to long to hum and haw over something. But of course, I still like going with a girlfriend too. But more than one person? Not so much.
I go out to restaurants alone the odd time. Totally don't mind it, but I think part of it is living in a big city and it's just 'normal' here.

Crazy Brunette said...

HAHA!!!

JUST WAIT until you HAVE kids bitch! You will relish ALONE time!!!!! When I get to be alone... I'm so goddamn excited that I damn near piss myself and do a happy dance!!!!

BUT, I would NEVER go out to eat, to a movie, etc. by myself... because as you said... LOSER!!!

Vikkie said...

Marc and I are pretty inseparable. We definitely do everything together. I've noticed it's more him than I though. I can definitely walk through a mall by myself, or get coffee and read a book by myself. I love people, absolutely adore them - but definitely don't mind the time to reflect.

But - the social stuff? Going swimming, out to eat and such - I definitely couldn't do by myself.

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